This Ain't Your Bed Sir

This dude that looks like Edward Herrmann from Richie Rich (view here ) gets on the bus all types of extra and loud. And by extra I mean Raven Simone meets Bill O'Reilly extra. He's loudly talking with the bus driver then proceeds to sit his happy ass across the aisle from me. He flops down in his seat and leans his seat all the way back (I hate that ish) which prompts the lady behind him to say "excuse me someone is here". LMAO. He LOUDLY says,  "Oh I'm Sorry" and moves to the seat next to him. But, its what he does next that really baffles me. He lays his seat back, gets his newspaper out to read and crosses his legs. Lounging and what not. WTF? This is NOT First Class on a plane, this is NOT business class on a train and this is NOT Greyhound. He acting like we about to embark on some long ass journey somewhere. Sir, in 15 minutes we will reach our destination, it ain't even that serious to have your feet up and ish. Besides how can you get that comfortable on this dirty ass bus? Then he keeps groaning or barking or some ish all loud. And I've never heard someone turn the page on a newspaper so damn loud!!!! GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER SIR! (as crystal would say).  I can't.

Who Is Singing????

I swore I was hearing things, but I should've known better. I kept hearing this faint sound of someone singing OFF KEY. So, I put down my Life & Style magazine and begin to listen intently. No someone is not singing Broken-Hearted Girl by Beyonce all types of off-key. I mean like to the left, to the left off-key. WTF!!?? I'm in the very back of the bus so I'm trying to see who the hell is singing. I can't tell who the culprit is but I'm hoping on my way out I can get a glimpse.

My stop comes and by process of elimination I've already pinpointed who it was, some man with short brown hair. But, much to my surprise as I pass the person on my way out I see its none other than the crazy woman that lives in my building whom I've knicknamed "Speedy Lady". Why Speedy Lady? Because everytime I see her she is power walking in her work clothes to the bus or in the building or to her car. She is always in a rush, but I think its a "drug rush" not "regular rush". Like, I wouldn't be surprised if she was on coke, but I digress. Anywho, she gets off behind me and I'm the one that's power walking because:
a) I don't want to have to speak to her
b) I damn sure don't want to have to walk with her
c) I REALLY don't want to be stuck on the elevator with her (she lives on my floor mind you).

As I'm feverishly trying to get in the building and on the elevator before her, I see her stumbling around and singing some rock song (that was definitely classic rock) loudly in the streets. WOW WOW WOW, LMAO. She is tore down drunk. Luckily, I beat her to the elevator and did not have to deal with her foolishness, although I'd probably have more antics for my blog. SMH